Yesterday I was grabbing my third coffee of the morning, still trying to shake a rather debilitating hangover from the day before (persistent little fucker). I'm standing inside Tim Hortons waiting in line and I overhear this charming exchange between two friends leaving the coffee shop.
Both are blond/hot/fun looking
Babe#1: I really don't understand what she sees in him (presumably talking about another friend)
Babe#2: I know, I mean that whole skinny dude thing is just not for me.
Babe#1: The next time I have sex...and I mean, who knows when that will be...but I want a big strong man. I need a bear. I am definitely the type of girl who needs a BIG man.
At this point, a BIG Burly homeless man passes them in the door way... snort/chuckles at overhearing this conversation while he gives them a knowing look.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Overheard @ The LCBO
So pretty much everyday I buy a bottle of wine. We now refer to them as 'bow's' because saying the three full words...bottle of wine as often as it is referred to in one day can cut into time that might be spent actually drinking it, or being leisurely and boozy in general. I digress.
There I am, minding my own business at the liquor store at Yonge and Dundas on my way to Liza's for some wine drinking when I overhear...
two gay dudes (One hot, One not) conversing near the entrance.
Hot Mo: So I really don't understand how she didn't know...
Not Mo: That's crazy! I mean, is she blind? or dumb? or both? (chuckles)
Hot Mo: well I want you to know that I really didn't mean to lead her on. She just came up to me at the end of the night and kissed me! I swear! i didn't understand how she thought that was ok!
Not Mo: Are you sure she wasn't just drunk and going for your cheek?
Hot Mo: (offended) Absolutely not! it was a definite full on lip kiss...here...I'll show you what she did.
They proceed to make out for as long as is relatively appropriate/kinda cute in public while I'll slither away with my boyfriend, $7.55 bow.
There I am, minding my own business at the liquor store at Yonge and Dundas on my way to Liza's for some wine drinking when I overhear...
two gay dudes (One hot, One not) conversing near the entrance.
Hot Mo: So I really don't understand how she didn't know...
Not Mo: That's crazy! I mean, is she blind? or dumb? or both? (chuckles)
Hot Mo: well I want you to know that I really didn't mean to lead her on. She just came up to me at the end of the night and kissed me! I swear! i didn't understand how she thought that was ok!
Not Mo: Are you sure she wasn't just drunk and going for your cheek?
Hot Mo: (offended) Absolutely not! it was a definite full on lip kiss...here...I'll show you what she did.
They proceed to make out for as long as is relatively appropriate/kinda cute in public while I'll slither away with my boyfriend, $7.55 bow.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Overhear @ the Mod Club
Last night Al took me to the Flosstradmus show at the Mod Club. The show was a bit of a let down, but there was some real entertainment in the crowd. We we're chilling in the VIP with one of the promoters, I am gonna call him the Tiny Mogul, because of his stature. Anyway he was being stalked by a tall, skinny, cokeate, we'll call her Coke-eyes. I guess he said something disparaging about her outfit, which from a far wasn't so bad but up close was all kinds of fug. Well she didn't take to kindly to that and she let it be known. Here is what I caught.
Coke-eyes : what are you talking about
T-Mogul : well let's get Nikita over here and ask her what she thinks.
Coke-eyes: what fuck that bitch. I hate fucking Nikita
T-Mogul pulled her quickly to his side and said intensely: I don't like what you are saying right now, do you hear me. No, do you understand.
Coke-eyes responded with something I didn't hear.
T-Mogul: No I just don't think that they match, I mean you look good, but you are the one who is so into fashion. I am just saying your those (motions to the brown boots) don't match your dress. But I'd still fuck you in them.
I was horrified, OMG this could put our little Cokehead over the top, but to my shock she seemed totally nullified by this revelation, and all was right in the world. She sauntered off to the powder room.
I saw her again later and she was smiling at a friend, but then suddenly her coke-eyes grew stormy and she bellowed.
Coke-eyes: NO, LISTEN TO ME. Don't FUCK with me.
Yikes, no problem.
Coke-eyes : what are you talking about
T-Mogul : well let's get Nikita over here and ask her what she thinks.
Coke-eyes: what fuck that bitch. I hate fucking Nikita
T-Mogul pulled her quickly to his side and said intensely: I don't like what you are saying right now, do you hear me. No, do you understand.
Coke-eyes responded with something I didn't hear.
T-Mogul: No I just don't think that they match, I mean you look good, but you are the one who is so into fashion. I am just saying your those (motions to the brown boots) don't match your dress. But I'd still fuck you in them.
I was horrified, OMG this could put our little Cokehead over the top, but to my shock she seemed totally nullified by this revelation, and all was right in the world. She sauntered off to the powder room.
I saw her again later and she was smiling at a friend, but then suddenly her coke-eyes grew stormy and she bellowed.
Coke-eyes: NO, LISTEN TO ME. Don't FUCK with me.
Yikes, no problem.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Overheard crossing the street at Bloor and Yonge
I was walking Lo to the subway after working out when I caught this exchange between a group of older professionals. There were probably four of them one woman and three men. The main speaker looked like a douche bag day trader.
Lone Lady: It's because of the economy
DBDT : O come on are we still talking about the economy.
Lone Lady: It's because of the economy
DBDT : O come on are we still talking about the economy.
Overheard @ Biryani House south of Bloor and east of Yonge
Last night I had an audition at 8:15, so when Lo and I were done at the gym I went to eat solo and prepare. I went to one of my favourite Indian restaurants near Yonge and Bloor and settled in. This place is great because it's cheap, the service is good, the food it good, and the tables are close together so you can always get an earful with your mouth full. Next to me were two beautiful brown young professional girlfriends. And they had quite the conversation.
The first of it that I caught was about a girl who one of them works with, who she hates.
BBYP 1: O no I am keeping a list of all the things she hasn't followed through with. It is just so frustrating, and you know I know she does it on purpose to get a rise out of everybody.
BBYP 2: Well you have to stay above the fray
BBYP 1: of course I know that, I am a professional, but (missed the name) gets really upset by it. She is trying to devise a way to have her fired. I am just trying to keep my job.
BBYP 2: Well if she is that bad it will happen, just not now when you need it. But she will get fired.
BBYP 1: I know, I know.
Then their conversation turned to the topic of Toronto, (they think it sucks.) Their upcoming vacation to either France or Greece. And another friend who is constantly out looking for a husband. (They did not approve.) Here are the highlights of that.
BBYP 2: I am just sick of this city, your good, you can stick it out. But me I just always want to up and leave when I get bored.
BBYP 1: All cities are the same, once you know them well enough you get bored.
BBYP 2: See I don't know if that is true, I think there is someplace out there where I could be content.
BBYP 1: No, everywhere gets boring after a while.
The conversation was temporarily interrupted when BBYP 2 had to send her food back, it was Korma, not what she ordered. This I could tell put her in a bad mood, and she never quite recovered.
BBYP 2: O did I tell you about David and Kevin and (female, missed her name, so we'll call her Lisa.) She gets so mad when they hang out with us or that group of friends without her. And she told David that she was hurt by it...
BBYP 1 tries to interrupt to no avail.
BBYP 2: But she was telling him how it was not cool, and she was saying it like both of us felt that way. Because we had spoken about it on the phone Friday, but I am like that's not cool to put me in it. I don't feel that strongly, you know I was just letting her vent. And the truth is I know he doesn't care. But she isn't really aware of that
BBYP 1: Well Lisa is very sensitive, and I mean they were her friends first, I don't see why she can't be invited.
BBYP 2: Yea but David doesn't care. He was like 'whatever I don't care what she says, this isn't high school. She is acting like a child.' So you know I don't know what to say to her, it's awkward because she is upset and he could care less.
BBYP 1: Yea but I'd be mad, I mean you don't do that, you know those were her friends, why not invite her.
BBYP 2: Well the thing is, you know David is a gay guy, you know he hasn't had a lot of women friends and he just doesn't think like that.
BBYP 1: He is really selfish.
BBYP 2: I kind of understand though, all she ever wants to do is go out and cruise for a man. Did i tell you about the other night, she was so pissed because she wanted to go to this bar where they make you where a green light if your single ...
BBYP 1: O no what, I would never go to a place like that.
BBYP 2: I am glad you had that reaction because that was my reaction. I mean yea, so a green light if you're single and a red light if you aren't. Well I didn't want to go, and she got so mad, and said I was being lame and all this stuff. And so finally I told her I don't like going out with you because you are always on the prowl for a husband. You can't even have a conversation with her at a bar, because she is just looking around for a husband all the time.
BBYP 1: You said that to her?
BBYP 2: Yea, I am sick of it. ... She has been like that since we were kids, like literally since we were 13 years old. I mean that is just not me. I am happy with my life, working and having my friends and family. I am not interested in going out and husband hunting.
The prattle on about their desperate friend. And I could kind of tell that despite what they were saying that neither of them would mind a husband.
At this point, I decided they were boring, and i had to go so I paid and left. But as I did so I wondered, where is this bar with the red light green light parade? That sounds like it might be very entertaining.
The first of it that I caught was about a girl who one of them works with, who she hates.
BBYP 1: O no I am keeping a list of all the things she hasn't followed through with. It is just so frustrating, and you know I know she does it on purpose to get a rise out of everybody.
BBYP 2: Well you have to stay above the fray
BBYP 1: of course I know that, I am a professional, but (missed the name) gets really upset by it. She is trying to devise a way to have her fired. I am just trying to keep my job.
BBYP 2: Well if she is that bad it will happen, just not now when you need it. But she will get fired.
BBYP 1: I know, I know.
Then their conversation turned to the topic of Toronto, (they think it sucks.) Their upcoming vacation to either France or Greece. And another friend who is constantly out looking for a husband. (They did not approve.) Here are the highlights of that.
BBYP 2: I am just sick of this city, your good, you can stick it out. But me I just always want to up and leave when I get bored.
BBYP 1: All cities are the same, once you know them well enough you get bored.
BBYP 2: See I don't know if that is true, I think there is someplace out there where I could be content.
BBYP 1: No, everywhere gets boring after a while.
The conversation was temporarily interrupted when BBYP 2 had to send her food back, it was Korma, not what she ordered. This I could tell put her in a bad mood, and she never quite recovered.
BBYP 2: O did I tell you about David and Kevin and (female, missed her name, so we'll call her Lisa.) She gets so mad when they hang out with us or that group of friends without her. And she told David that she was hurt by it...
BBYP 1 tries to interrupt to no avail.
BBYP 2: But she was telling him how it was not cool, and she was saying it like both of us felt that way. Because we had spoken about it on the phone Friday, but I am like that's not cool to put me in it. I don't feel that strongly, you know I was just letting her vent. And the truth is I know he doesn't care. But she isn't really aware of that
BBYP 1: Well Lisa is very sensitive, and I mean they were her friends first, I don't see why she can't be invited.
BBYP 2: Yea but David doesn't care. He was like 'whatever I don't care what she says, this isn't high school. She is acting like a child.' So you know I don't know what to say to her, it's awkward because she is upset and he could care less.
BBYP 1: Yea but I'd be mad, I mean you don't do that, you know those were her friends, why not invite her.
BBYP 2: Well the thing is, you know David is a gay guy, you know he hasn't had a lot of women friends and he just doesn't think like that.
BBYP 1: He is really selfish.
BBYP 2: I kind of understand though, all she ever wants to do is go out and cruise for a man. Did i tell you about the other night, she was so pissed because she wanted to go to this bar where they make you where a green light if your single ...
BBYP 1: O no what, I would never go to a place like that.
BBYP 2: I am glad you had that reaction because that was my reaction. I mean yea, so a green light if you're single and a red light if you aren't. Well I didn't want to go, and she got so mad, and said I was being lame and all this stuff. And so finally I told her I don't like going out with you because you are always on the prowl for a husband. You can't even have a conversation with her at a bar, because she is just looking around for a husband all the time.
BBYP 1: You said that to her?
BBYP 2: Yea, I am sick of it. ... She has been like that since we were kids, like literally since we were 13 years old. I mean that is just not me. I am happy with my life, working and having my friends and family. I am not interested in going out and husband hunting.
The prattle on about their desperate friend. And I could kind of tell that despite what they were saying that neither of them would mind a husband.
At this point, I decided they were boring, and i had to go so I paid and left. But as I did so I wondered, where is this bar with the red light green light parade? That sounds like it might be very entertaining.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Overheard @ Yonge and Alexander
On my way to the faculty of music when I spotted an exchange between a young female tweaker and a nondescript older gent. He's minding his own business waiting for the light to change so he can cross the street when the tweaker, on the phone, bumps into him.
Tweaker: fuck, fuck you... fuck
NDOG looks on in silent confusion as the tweaker dashes into... a bank?
Tweaker: fuck, fuck you... fuck
NDOG looks on in silent confusion as the tweaker dashes into... a bank?
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Overheard @ yoga Church and Maitland
I was "deep" in personal reflection when I overheard this exchange between pupil and teacher. Everyone was working on a headstand position.
Teach: Good, good, but don't kick your legs. They were about an inch from coming off the floor on their own. They just got excited.
The pupil replied with a strained exhale.
Teach: Good, good, but don't kick your legs. They were about an inch from coming off the floor on their own. They just got excited.
The pupil replied with a strained exhale.
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